At the beginning of the month, Ben at Ace of Bens created the 30 Days of Pride Tag as part of their #30DaysOfPride that they cohosted with Tay at Stay on the Page. The instant I saw it, I knew I wanted to do it. The tag is made up of questions representing the colors of the pride flag and embraces the spirit of pride really well!
- Credit the original author of the tag — Ace Of Bens
- Make sure you copy and paste these rules and notes at the beginning of the tag.
- Tag as many or as few people as you’d like!
- This tag originally uses the word “queer” as an umbrella term for the LGBTQ+ community, but you are free to change it to whatever term or abbreviation you are most comfortable with for your own post.
- You don’t have to be out to be proud of who you are. Therefore, you can still do this tag if you aren’t out to everyone you know, as long as you feel comfortable and safe doing it!
- Don’t feel obligated to answer all of these questions or to even do this if you are tagged. I want this to be a fun pride month post, not a source of anxiety for anyone.
- Happy Pride Month!
Rules and notes done, let’s get on to the answers! I’m keeping some of my answers really brief or limited in number so I don’t agonize too long on my answers and to offset some of my longer answers. I’ve already put this off all month – let’s get it done!
Who Is Your Favorite Queer Celebrity/Creator Of Color?
Janelle Monáe and Mykki Blanco for sure!
Name A Piece Of Media (Movie, TV Show, Book, Podcast, Etc.) With Queer Representation That You Admire For Its Overall Diversity
Not to have the same answer as literally everyone else that I’ve seen but Brooklyn 99.
I’m also going to say Pose. One of these is definitely far more serious than the other, but they’re both important shows to me.
What Are Your Sexual And Romantic Orientations And Gender Identity? (If You’re Comfortable Sharing!)
I will admit that I’m super guilty of editing my answer to this depending on who I’m around but when I feel completely safe in saying exactly how I feel, I identify as a gray-pansexual demigirl. I feel fortunate that I have found a community online where I feel safe and comfortable being true to my whole self.
What Point Of Your Life Were You At When You First Learned About The Queer Community? What Point Were You At When You Realized You Were A Part Of It?
I don’t really remember when I first learned about the queer community. I did have a gay great uncle in my family who was pretty much iced out by then entire rest of the family once it was found out he was gay. He was my mother’s favorite uncle. She made a point of making it so my sister and I knew that being gay was completely fine in our house and tried to make sure we were exposed to queer media when we could be.
That being said, her being supportive didn’t necessarily lend itself to me finding out at an early age. I didn’t really start figuring things out until I was in my early to mid 20s and literally just ‘finished’ sorting out how I feel about things this month. While sexuality is indeed fluid, I truly believe that this is who I have been all along and that it wasn’t until recently that I sat down and figured out labels instead of feeling out of place all the time.
Community Is A Huge Part Of Healing. How Has This Community Helped You Become More Comfortable In Your Own Skin?
I guess I’ve sort of hinted at this in previous answers but being around people who educated me on things I didn’t know. Until I got to college, I didn’t even know what bisexuality was. I was thoroughly confused because I had attractions to girls and boys but wrote my attraction to women off as jealousy or appreciation. I remember having breakdowns multiple times crying to my mother that I felt like ‘a guy or something’ trapped in a girl’s body and being told that everyone feels that way sometimes (I’d like to clarify that she’s learned with me and it’s been great). I remember multiple times having discussions with people that sex just had no appeal to me and being told I just hadn’t met the right person. It has been absolutely wonderful and relieving to find out that I’m not defective but that there are others out there. And that these feelings are normal.
I don’t really have much of an access to a real life community – the midwest can be a small, small place sometimes. But I will say the few times I’ve had a good heart-to-heart with a fellow queer coworker or student, it’s been great and validating. Again, it makes me feel less alone and like I belong.
What Is Something About The Queer Community And/Or Culture That Makes You Happy? Something You Find Joy Or Light In.
Just how caring and concerned everyone in the community is. Yeah, shit gets ugly sometimes but for the most part the queer community is here to support each other and raise each other up and I love it.
Also, just how much things are growing. I think the biggest thing for me lately was the cover of Tell Me How You Really Feel. I never thought I’d see a soft sapphic cover on a young adult novel. Ever. It’s gorgeous and I love it.
How Have You Grown Since Last Pride Month?
Last pride month I did absolutely nothing. I got excited about it. I might have shared a few posts on social media, but that was about it. Since this time last year I’ve been more willing to stand up when people say harmful things: point out transphobia, when people are trying to force the world into a heteronormative box, bi-erasure, etc. In the past I’d sit there mad but not say anything.
I also have forced myself in the last month to sit down and fully work out my sexuality and gender identity rather than just feel off but let it slide because it was easier than dealing with things. It wasn’t healthy for me and at some point in time I needed to just get it done. I was literally forcing myself to identify with what people around me would be willing to accept rather than my truth just because it was easier than the chance of facing rejection.
When You Found A Label That Fit Or Realized You Were Queer In Some Way, Was Your Moment Of Realization A Magical Feeling Of Relief?
Yes. 100% yes. And every time I work out something more, it feels better. I literally have only this last month really truly come to terms with the fact that I am gray-a. And that I’m genderqueer and where I felt I fit on the gender spectrum. I know labels are just labels but being able to say,” Yeah! This is it! It all makes sense,” really feels amazing. I’ve been sort of struggling with understanding these parts of myself almost as long as I can remember and to have words for it is good.
Would You Say You’re At A Point Of Self-Discovery That You’ve Found Inner Peace With Your Gender And Sexual Identities?
Yes! Finally, at long last – I can say yes.
This may seem a little dramatic but the reason this post is happening so late is I saw the tag the day Ben first posted it and was like, TOTALLY GONNA DO THE THING. Then realized I wasn’t really sure what my answers were for some of the questions. Or if they were accurate answers. It sort of pushed me to sit down and do my research instead of ignoring what was going on. And it feels great. I wish I’d done it years earlier. Oh well, live and learn!
How Are You Getting Into The Spirit Of Pride Month?
So, I was actually going to go to my first Pride ever this month but chickened out at the last minute. I had no one to go with and crowds give me anxiety and doing a new thing alone was a bit much but I want the records to reflect that I did make an attempt!
I also wrote a piece for Ben’s #30DaysOfPride on one of my favorite queer young adult novels. (You can read it here)
I tried to read as many books by or featuring queer authors/characters this month.
And, as I’m sure I’ve beat into the ground by now – I forced myself to actually come to terms (literally?) with my sexuality and gender identity this month. I started the month identifying as pansexual and am ending it as gray-pansexual and a demigirl. It feels pretty good.
I’ve been a mess running away from myself for too long, mostly because I feared rejection from my peers, but I’m ready to stop running and wholly embrace who I am.
So, I’m not going to tag anyone for this as it’s kind of late but if you’d like to do the tag, please feel free!